Forgive and Forget...

I know, I know...we've all heard it a MILLION times, this Forgive and Forget advice.  It rings true, it even FEELS like the right thing to do. But, how often do we really succeed at it? Some people I know truly make valiant attempts. To some it comes completely natural, and yet others make no attempt at all.

For me, Forgive and Forget is a toughie. I totally get the Forgive part, I really do. I know no one is perfect {not even me} and needs a little forgiveness now and again. It's the Forget part where some think I get hung up. Some will say that I haven't truly forgiven if I have a problem with forgetting. But, I beg to differ.

I know I harbor no ill will towards the involved parties, I wish them no harm or sadness.

I know what's done is done and it is in the PAST.

I have forgiven  and hold no resentment.

I know that there are real reasons, on all sides, for what occurred...or sometimes no reason at all. I may never know the reasons. I do my very best to understand and accept the reality.

What I also know though, is that I have learned from the experience and therefore, there are times when relationships cannot and will not just resume as they were before. Sometimes, part of forgetting is not only moving ON or moving PASSED the situation, but also taking the lessons learned and making an effort to avoid a repeat situation. {I am a firm believer that troubles are often repeated throughout our lives when the fullness of the lesson to be learned has not yet occurred.}

So, Forgive and Forget DOES NOT ALWAYS mean things always go back to the way they were before. In some cases, relationships/situations are permanently changed. I have learned to live with that. It also DOES NOT ALWAYS mean that you literally forget erase the past. I've learned that forgiveness can occur, and often needs to occur, while still remembering the pain. What forgetting does mean is that IT IS OVER, and with lessons learned... everyone can move on.

Of course, I try my best at this and am by no stretch of the imagination perfect at it. Sometimes, it takes me a LONG TIME for me to get to the forgetting part.  I tend to mull situations over in my head, trying to figure out the hows, and whys as I struggle to a conclusion. I struggle with forgiveness also, especially when there is no apology, admission, or no conversation.
But eventually,I do Forgive and Forget, setting things aside with or without explanation...

ex·pla·na·tion  [ek-spluh-ney-shuhn]

–noun

1.the act or process of explaining.

2.something that explains; a statement made to clarify something and make it understandable; exposition: an explanation of a poem.

3.a meaning or interpretation: to find an explanation for a mystery.

4.a mutual declaration of the meaning of words spoken, actions, motives, etc., with a view to adjusting a misunderstanding or reconciling differences: After a long and emotional explanation they were friends again.

...and move on.

-Reneé